Recently I bumped into someone I hadn’t seen for years. He showed me a crumpled piece of paper from his wallet. On it were the words of a colleague of his from 15 years ago; they said ‘I admire your sincerity and determination’. I had used a leadership exercise that always works – to give a note to another leader recognising their strengths. This always has a profound effect on everyone, largely because very few people (especially their leader) ever gives us positive feedback.
‘I want to thank you’, he said, ‘for that leadership programme. I never realised people saw those characteristics in me. It gave me the confidence to be myself and now I always give my people regular feedback about their strengths.’
This feedback made me feel good too! Never underestimate the power of encouragement that recognition gives. Most of us just aren’t that confident and unless we can learn telepathy, the only way to hear about our strengths is from others talking or writing. This is particularly important from leaders.
It has to be real. No made-up comments to make people feel good. Human beings can detect falseness instantly. Why do we have a tendency to report only the negative? The brain is very good at identifying wrong behaviour – that which doesn’t fit the pattern. It takes a conscious effort to recognise positive behaviours and approaches. No wonder we slip into negative ‘don’t do’ or ‘shouldn’t have’ mode – it is so much easier.
We all need the strength that comes from others encouragement. It can change their lives and ours. It can do more for personal resilience than a hundred workshops put together. The opposite is also true. Lack of recognition and encouragement negatively impacts both engagement and performance.
John Garnett, one of my past leaders used to quote a leader from ICI who said (slightly tongue in cheek) ‘There is no level of poor performance that cannot be achieved by an individual or individuals given sufficient lack of encouragement’. That quotation has stayed with me for over 30 years.
Recent research has reinforced the importance of encouragement through the positive psychology movement. Yesterday, my colleague Sam recommended a book that is excellent. Donald Clifton has been cited as the grandfather of positive psychology and the father of strengths psychology. Clifton , the ex chairman of Gallup
- Have increased productivity
- Have increased engagement with their colleagues
- Are more likely to stay with the organisation
- Get higher loyalty and satisfaction scores from customers
- Have better safety records and fewer accidents on the job
More recently, Daniel Pink has noted in his book ‘Drive’ that we have known about this research for years, but that ‘there is a mismatch between what science knows and what business does’. We need to change the habits that form part of a well established ‘comfortable’ business paradigm – those habits are damaging us all.
Encouragement (or bucket filling as they call it in the book) is a powerful leadership tool. How can employees work with courage when leaders mainly talk and write to discourage? Formal recognition programmes, although well intentioned, can do more harm than good. They are often seen as an HR initiative and are no substitute for regular, real words from leaders and colleagues. When leaders role model encouragement, others encourage too.
Here are some 10 simple ideas for encouraging:
- Recognise the success of others by telling them
- Use short written notes of thanks – hand written not email
- Acknowledge when the team has done a good job or helped
- When things go wrong, ask questions rather than accusing
- Ask people for ideas (even when you think you know) listen and adjust your thoughts
- Seek to understand the other person’s point of view – they will see the world differently. Accept and appreciate that
- Ask others to give you feedback on your own strengths
- Add up the number of times you report mistakes rather than successes. Change the ratio to 5:1 (encouraging to criticising)
- Expect and ask others to encourage colleagues
10. Practice at home. Partners and children need encouragement too
Encouraging is not difficult but it takes conscious effort. Regular practice will change the mental ‘wiring’ in yourself and others. We become what we do most often. The results will change you, your employees and the whole culture for the better. Encouragement is a key leadership responsibility; it is not part of the HR portfolio.
For more useful tips, the book ‘How full is your Bucket’ is very easy to read and full of practical ideas. The web site is www.bucketbook.com where you can find a mass of materials including the Clifton StrengthsFinder test.
Post script
I have recently found my own example. A simple handwritten thank you from John Garnett scribbled onto my annual pay rise note in 1984. It was so significant that I have kept it for over 20 years – I keep it in my desk drawer. Now that I work for myself, I take it out when I lack confidence; It gives me strength.
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